If you’ve been here before, you likely know that cooking at home and including my young kids in the kitchen are two things I’m hoping to improve in this new year on the homestead. I am a first-generation homemaker, homeschool mom, and homesteader, so there are a lot of valuable life skills I am learning for the first time. And I really want to learn them alongside my children. These are the four basic steps I’ve taken to be more proactive in encouraging my kids’ presence and participation in the kitchen.
1. I’ve purchased kids kitchen products that give me confidence they can handle the job safely
My post “Gift Your Little Chef The Best Kids Kitchen Tools For Winter” details the five best kids kitchen tools I have purchased to include my children in the kitchen while I’m cooking. My absolute favorite product for young children has been the kids plastic knife and safety glove set. I am so much more comfortable encouraging my five and three years olds to participate in cooking with me now that I know they can safely do the job. It is so empowering for them to help Mommy cut and prepare healthy foods for our family meals. It also develops their fine motor skills and provides an opportunity for us to spend quality time together without pushing back my daily household tasks as a homemaker. These are a little sharper than butter knives, so they may be a great second step in including your kids in the food prep.
As you can see, these safe kid gloves protect little fingers from getting hurt while still allowing my children to fine-tune their motor and culinary skills. Home is the ideal place for kids to learn new skills, but there still needs to be a certain level of safety ensured. My three year old still doesn’t use the knives in the best way, such as holding it up in the air and trying to cut toward her, but this is another opportunity for me to stress the importance of kitchen safety.
We also have kid-specific cookbooks that empower them to try new recipes that are kid-safe and kid-approved. Following the recipes sets a solid culinary foundation and is also good practice for expressing creativity through cooking. Our cookbooks are not age-specific and therefore can introduce healthy ingredients to younger children and allow them to have a sense of accomplishment in helping with simple tasks, while also providing an opportunity for older kids to complete all aspects of the food preparation.
Another great tool for including your children from a young age in the kitchen is a step stool. This allows younger kids to still see what is going on and experience new things alongside you even if you aren’t quite ready to hand off any of the actual meal prep yet. This is the perfect opportunity for your children to be with you in the family kitchen and even experience new tastes if you include them by taste-testing. If your child is still a baby or young toddler, still them in the high chair near the kitchen sink and narrate to them what you are doing as you take a variety of ingredients and create a finished product that is great for your family’s health. Walk them through your entire process and you will be surprised how many language and math skills they pick up by just being around you and hearing you speak. You can discuss kitchen safety rules, such as “Mommy has to cut the chicken like this so she doesn’t hurt herself with sharp knives” or “We must sanitize the counters after I put the chicken in the skillet because it could give us yucky germs.”
Your kids may need something else to distract them after a while (like a tasty snack or a coloring page) if their attention span is shorter than cooking an entire meal. That is okay! Remember as parents we are establishing a foundation for our children to build upon and that does not happen in one moment. But at least you are able to mark something off your list without shooing your babies away so you can focus. The most important thing is the bonding time and valuable life skills you are teaching them from an early age even if they don’t remember it! Bravo, Mom!
My daughters tell me their favorite part about cooking healthy meals with Mommy in the kitchen is all of the sampling. I love that they are trying new foods. Our second and third daughters are especially picky eaters, but they are more willing to try different foods and develop those healthy eating habits when I include them in the cooking process. Just a simple, “Hey, I’m not sure that this dish has enough flavor. What do you think?” can introduce them to new ingredients they may not be willing to try otherwise. They learn a new skill in knowing that different foods will not harm them and having positive attitudes toward healthy recipes. Win-win.
2. Schedule meal preparation with extra time
The only times I’ve failed in encouraging my children’s participation in the kitchen is when I did not account for additional time given their skill level. It may not be the best time to involve your children when the entire family is ravenous or there is a time crunch, so going into the cooking process with young children requires the right expectations. If you can’t include your children in every single meal that you prepare, that is 100% okay. I give you permission to give yourself grace right now and encourage you to not be discouraged in even trying simply because you’re unsure of where to start.
I was there. Recently. As recently as a couple of months ago. I have found that the perfect way of stretching those muscles in including our children in the kitchen is by starting with a simple recipe when there is no pressure to get it done by a certain time. For us, that is generally lunch. I will pull out the sandwich cutters, food picks, some basic vegetables for them to cut using their plastic knife set like cucumbers or carrots, and we will have PB&Js with sides as our meal. I also bring everything to the kitchen table for it to be more accessible to them. We also have small counter space in the kitchen so this helps us to all work together if there are a lot of moving parts to the meal.
I have also found that it is not a good idea for me to try to include three ambitious, but developing, young children when I myself am trying to learn a new recipe. If they still want to be in the kitchen with me, that is fine, but I encourage them to pull up a chair or step stool and I require them to watch a recipe once before trying it themselves. By enforcing this rule, I am setting expectations that they are not entitled to help every time (allowing me the freedom to say no and not feel too guilty about it when I am learning a new skill or technique). I do, however, still communicate to them each step of the process, how much I’m measuring out of the ingredients, etc. to make them feel included and help them learn too.
When I take the time to narrate to my children what I am doing and for what purpose, I found I “accidentally” teach them about food safety, the benefits of cooking, how to develop language skills through communication, and establishing family traditions by cooking meals together. As a homeschool mom, I love it. I can give my kids a well-rounded education that will provide them with a solid foundation for the real world. But even if you don’t homeschool, your kids of all ages will benefit from the essential life skill you are developing when cooking food as a whole family. When kids are involved in a hands-on activity, it is a great time and safe place to speak truth to them about things you may observe as a parent that should be addressed. I pray my kids look back and have fond memories of the skills built in the kitchen and also the great conversations we have had and will continue to have over the years.
3. Plan meals with your kids’ participation in mind
I am still learning how to cook at home and especially from scratch. It takes a lot of brain power for me to execute a new recipe or complete a food preservation project. Therefore, I am a little more strategic in my daily meal planning and big project days to ensure that I have help with the children on those days. There are simply some things I am not yet comfortable including my children in. This isn’t necessarily a reflection of their capabilities, though the oldest is only six, but rather my own comfort level.
When including children in the cooking process, the work area becomes a little more crowded. I avoid inviting my kids into the cooking process when I am learning a new recipe or there are a lot of moving parts (such as frying chicken or when the recipe calls for multiple complicated steps). That doesn’t mean I necessarily push them out of the kitchen, but when they are not helping I have found they do tend to wander off in hopes of finding something more exciting to do. I do still use this as an opportunity to narrate what I am doing, but I am less engaged with my kids when I am focusing on a new recipe and they sense that. I’m not sure in the growing and learning process there is a way around this, but if you have ideas, let me know in the comments below!
If my kids ask me, “Mom, what’s for dinner tonight?” I generally use that as an opportunity to include them in the conversation, even if they don’t get to decide the menu. There are times that we are needing to go grocery shopping and therefore we don’t have many of the ingredients on hand to make their favorite dishes. Instead I will tell them what is on the menu and give them options (when appropriate) for ways they can contribute. A consistent example of this is sides. Some of our kids love carrots, others celery, and another won’t eat either but loves cucumbers. I try to allow them as many options as possible and that eliminates a lot of dinner fights. It also helps me to find ways to include them when I honestly don’t know how. If they request a certain veggie for a side, it’s “Yes, sure, honey. But how about you cut them up for Momma?” The answer is always a very excited “Yes!”
This is also a great place to start when you want to start including your children in the budgeting and creating a shopping list conversations. I can sit down with my children and have a basic framework for our weekly meal plan. Then they can fill in the blanks. We walk through all breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and this helps me in the middle of a chaotic weekday to have something to refer back to. This also helps my husband and I stay connected on when I really need his help during the weeknight cooking and when the kids can be right beside me the entire time.
At times my kids change their minds throughout the week, but generally they only suggest things they really love so it makes it easy. Then when we go to the grocery store, we can discuss how much certain things cost, brainstorm together what substitutes can be made if need be, and walk through the budget for the week and hold each other accountable.
4. Start with the basics
When my oldest was around two, I started including her in basic steps like stirring the chocolate chips into the cookie dough and helping Mommy count out how many eggs go into the bowl. My babies now will sit in their high chairs and listen to Mommy ramble on about how hot the stove needs to be or if these onion dices need to be cut into smaller pieces. Whether we recognize it or not, the more we speak, the more our children’s language development grows. This is especially important in early childhood and therefore just being in the kitchen together and establishing those habits are extremely beneficial.
Now that my older two daughters are six and three year olds, we have built upon their culinary foundation and they are capable of a lot more. Not only do I hand over some of the meal prep to them, but I also look to them for creative solutions if we do not have or like a certain ingredient. They are learning what different flavor profiles go together and how to make things at home that we don’t always have on hand, like buttermilk or baking powder.
It’s okay that your kids don’t know how to do that or know so much more than my own. Everyone starts somewhere and what we need to remember is the purpose for which we are doing this. We want to enjoy our kids more. We want them to develop skills that are essential to living and to flourish when they leave our homes. However and wherever you start is not what matters. It simply matters that you do start!
I encourage you today to take some time to think about how else you can be including your small kids in the kitchen. Tag me on Instagram @cityfolkhomestead and let me know if the comments how you are including your small children in the kitchen. I can’t wait to hear new ideas on how I can involve my own even more!
More kids-related content from City Folk Homestead
Ten Benefits of Including Young Kids in the Kitchen
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