Being a homemaker with small children is a full-time job and has its challenges. The kids are too young to be left unsupervised for very long, if at all. And still, the house and family have needs that cannot be ignored. I’m a first-generation stay-at-home mom and homesteader and these are my best low-effort homemaking tips when you have young kids.
I have been a SAHM for six years now. The last two years have added new duties to my “job title” with homeschooling and homesteading. We actually moved from the city to our two-acre lawn when I was in my third trimester with baby number three. Not to mention, our house tripled in size. There’s been a lot of transitions and lifestyle adjustments in just two years. I needed to find ways to balance it all without losing my ever-loving mind.
I did not want my children to see Mom sacrifice a positive attitude on the altar of overwhelm and despair. My heart was set on bitterness and I was depressed. But I so desperately desired for them to see me fulfilling my role as wife, mother, and gatekeeper of our home as a reflection of Biblical womanhood and a Christ-centered heart.
After a very hard year, I decided to make big changes in our daily schedule and time management. Throughout the last year there has been a positively huge difference in how our household runs. And we have a clean house to boot! I call that a victory.
Additionally, our family is committed to doing life together. For us that means screen time is kept to an absolute minimum and we include the children whenever possible in whatever we are doing. My husband and I did not grow up this way and I wasn’t confident we could do it. I’m here to tell you a year later that we can and you can too.
Our kids have run around us outside while we’ve built a chicken coop from scratch. We have renovated our entire home, including the full basement, with new flooring, plumbing, drywall work, and more all with our kids working alongside us. Every day I complete my daily chores with three little people under my feet and at my side. I think the most amazing thing is that I actually delight in it too.
I’m not saying it’s not hard work. It has required a completely different mindset than what we grew up with. But it is possible and so rewarding! Here are the things that we consistently do that WORK.
Tip #1: Include your kids in the household chores (even when it takes longer)
Adopting a home-centered lifestyle has unfolded organically in the last two years. I was overwhelmed with the move and home renovations, the larger house, outdoor responsibility that comes with homesteading and owning backyard chickens, and adjusting to being a family of five. I was not mentally prepared and quickly drowning. In order to get everything done, without sacrificing our family’s values, I had to pace our daily routine differently and find ways for the children to join in.
We started practicing this a little bit in the city, with our young toddlers “helping” Mommy to mop or wipe off the table. Our homestead and home-centered lifestyle has brought this to life in new ways, though. Now I’m not just encouraging my kids to participate in the daily activities because I think it’s cute how they mimic Mommy and Daddy. Now they are encouraged and expected to be a working member of the family because it is healthy for them to do so! I now see the benefits to them and their confidence and because I love them I want to facilitate as many opportunities as possible to cultivate those things.
At first I was the initiator of their participation. Now, they are constantly asking me how they can help when they see me busy with daily tasks. Just today, my three year old saw me on my hands and knees scrubbing who-knows-what off of the floor and asked if she could grab a washcloth and join in. Of course I took her up on it. We try to never punish, but rather highly encourage, behavior we want to see repeated (thank you, Jordan Peterson, for the parenting wisdom!). I have found that the more I say yes, the more often my kids ask to participate.
By the way, if you’re looking for a tough, crud-cutting all-natural cleaning solution, check out my free guide to DIY citrus-scented vinegar. Amazing stuff.
Around the home
I started to include my children in my homemaking routine by making fun games out of putting away clean clothes, house cleaning, vacuuming, and washing the kitchen table, floor, or windows. The “games” include seeing how many toys or stacks of clothes someone can neatly put away in a certain time frame (generally three to five minutes). Who has the dirtiest washrag after cleaning? We also have a cordless vacuum that easily converts to a height even my older toddler can navigate with ease.
In our home we have a disciplined structure that includes the children placing their own dirty clothes in the appropriate laundry basket and taking plates to the counter after meals. We consistently ask them to be productive contributors to the household. Each family member has an important part. We want to highlight and value and encourage that every day.
Including my kids in my responsibilities isn’t about making my life easier, though it is a natural byproduct. My own children are learning important life skills now that took me 28 years to learn. They are valued and invested in. As little girls, they are each already starting their own homemaking journey. They are finding joy in what makes them female, and one day, a woman.
In the kitchen
Homemaking includes cooking at home much more often. This is probably the area I’ve had to grow in the most as a home-centered mom. I did not know how to properly hold a knife when my husband and I got married and when we moved to the homestead, I only had three recipes in my recipe book I confidently knew how to make. And all of them had an ingredients list full of processed foods.
Even my little kids know how to crack open and scramble eggs and use a wooden spoon to stir. My oldest two children use a kids plastic knife and glove set to help me prepare fruits and veggies for meals. We have two cookbooks for children and twice a month they pick a meal for us to cook together: The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs: 100+ Recipes that You’ll Love to Cook and Eat from America’s Test Kitchen and The Nourishing Traditions Cookbook for Children by Suzanne Gross.
Another way I have included my children in the kitchen is by allowing them to help with food preservation projects. Whether we are picking meat off of chicken bones, pouring vegetable broth into the jars, or peeling apples with a Johnny Apple Peeler, my girls are right beside me and participating. They are much more capable than I even thought and even more so now that I allow them to help even beyond my own comfort levels at times.
On the homestead
Because we desire to equip with life skills, we put our children in situations to build confidence in the ability to work with their hands, or “build confidence in doing.” This means that a lot of our daily life revolves around learning constantly, building a more comprehensive homeschooling education and also instilling character, skills, and values into our children we could not otherwise.
Another tip I have for homeschooling moms is to incorporate as many life skills as you can into the curriculum. Our whole family is involved in writing grocery lists and discussing the budget for grocery shopping. I take my kids along when I have to feed and water the chickens, gather eggs, and clean the coop. We fill five gallon buckets with the wood shavings and dump it in the compost. Not only are my children learning life skills but they are also in situations that provoke critical and spiritual thinking. We have countless cup-filling conversations while we bond and work together as a family to be good stewards of our home and animals.
As a fun nugget, our six year old was recently gifted a child’s sized egg apron to wear when gathering eggs. Even our friends know how much our kids are involved and the fulfillment they find in it!
Tip #2: Declutter with the help of your kids
This tip branches off of the first in that it is easier to be a joy-filled homemaker when there is less stuff to maintain. Being a homemaker and home-centered go hand-in-hand. Finding success in including your children in your homemaking duties goes hand-in-hand with letting them make choices. Some of these choices…. (NOT SURE I LIKE WHERE I’M GOING HERE?)
I find it is much easier to declutter the home when my children are the ones making the decisions. I have tried purging the home of the broken or unwanted toys and craft supplies on my own before. Usually I was still left frustrated because the things I thought they would want to keep were left unused.
If you include your children in the decluttering process, you may be surprised by what they want to get rid of. My husband and I have had discussions before on if something should really be donated or not. But at least we knew what they were interested in and what was no longer captivating. The children will also then become acquainted with the blessing of giving generously and serving others. When we own less things, we are less stressed. When we give to others, we are more blessed!
Tip #3: Slow down the family’s pace
We don’t have to live boring lives to be good homemakers or have a home-centered life. We do, however, need to be good stewards of our time and energy and invest those things wisely.
Homemaking with multiple small kids generally means a more home-centered lifestyle. Otherwise, it is very difficult to maintain the home and take care of all of the other responsibilities that fall on your shoulders. I highly recommend reevaluating the things you’re investing the family’s time in and cutting back where you can. There will be less busy seasons when there may be more room for the extra commitments. We are not called to be the Proverbs 31 woman in her entirety at every stage of life, but rather throughout our lives.
I do understand, though, that we live in a society driven by the clock and a culture that prides itself on being busy. If there truly is nothing to cut from the schedule due to prior commitments or simply the stage that you are in today, then look at your time management and home in on intentionality.
Maybe you can’t pull back on your commitments. How are you spending the time that you do have at home? Are you bouncing from thing to thing or are you able to go with the flow of the natural daily rhythm? If you were planning on a thirty minute outside time that transformed into an hour and a half and ended with very wet and dirty clothes (as shown above), would you be frustrated or feel at peace knowing your kids enjoyed their time being creative?
For context, my children were not ready to say goodbye to the snow so they begged to be able to build a snowman on Grandma’s front porch. Unfortunately Frosty did not beat the heat of the day, but my girls sure had fun. It was a good day because I surrendered control and also structured our day to include flexibility.
There are days where we can’t be flexible. We eat meals and take naps and go to bed and wake up at relatively the same times every day. Children need structure and so do adults. I’m not saying everything should be up to whichever the way the wind blows. I have found though that there is beauty in allowing the day to organically unfold.
The purpose of this tip is to encourage you to be actively engaged with your family in the season of homemaking. If what is pulling you away from your home, or even your responsibilities within it, distract or exhaust you to the point of stress and overwhelm, I implore you to re-evaluate. We are only given our children for a little while. As the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short. I personally want to live a life of motherhood drinking in every moment that I can, not pushing to make it to the finish line that is bedtime.
(Bonus) Tip #4: Budget appropriately
One thing that I wish I had understood sooner is it is okay to invest in the family home even if it seems to only benefit you. I spent a lot of time fighting against my kids and myself because I wanted to be able to do it all without any help. Newsflash: We have human limitations. Sometimes we just need help. Sometimes that help comes from purchasing a new kitchen gadget like an InstantPot or dutch oven and bread scorer to make homemade bread that isn’t all gooey in the middle. Sometimes it’s the cordless vacuum that I mentioned previously to clean up under the kitchen table after every meal. These things come with an investment, I know.
But there are times I need to spend a little money on something that is going to make my life easier. This is an investment. It is not selfish. Read that again while I wait.
My husband and I took a long time in our married life to get on the same page about spending money. He would purchase things “for himself” and I could easily encourage him to do but couldn’t do for myself. Or it led to disagreements because at the time I thought that was foolish spending. This conclusion was out of a place of brokenness, not righteousness.
In my heart, I lusted after the carefree ability to do those things too and viewed my “self-discipline” as holier than he. Not true.
Instead, I had a jealous desire to do the same thing but couldn’t bring myself to ask. I didn’t want to be perceived as weak or incapable of doing it on my own, because that’s what we’ve been sold is the ideal woman. This thinking is toxic and will lead you down a very dark path.
Friend, please learn from me and break free of that cycle today. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay not to be okay. It is normal and absolutely how we were created to find all-sufficiency outside of ourselves. We were made with human limitations because there is One who is greater than I and He overcomes the world. And He has also blessed us to live in the time that we do where we have plenty of resources at our fingertips to help us on our way!
Breaking free of the lies
I started small. Well, my husband did, rather. He encouraged me in my goals of cooking more at home by surprising me with a cheese grater. I was in the first trimester of my fourth pregnancy and I craved shredded hash browns like nobody’s business. He recognized that want absolute need and supplied it. God bless that man.
Slowly since then we have invested in higher quality kitchen tools than the ones I bought at Dollar Tree in 2014. And by “invested in higher quality” I mean the $10 stainless steel ones at Walmart. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive to make a difference. I enjoy cooking more and I am motivated to include my kids more when I enjoy it.
Perhaps you are not in this boat. I pray this tip doesn’t apply to you. But if it does, Momma, I see you. Know you are not alone and that I believe in you and the work you are doing. You are valued. You have already been deemed “worth it.”
Now, this is not a license to go out and spend frivolously for the sake of it. But this is meant to be an encouragement to the woman who is too paralyzed and afraid to invest in herself. Have a conversation with your husband about your needs. Perhaps there is a different solution altogether than a financial one.
Challenge: Find one way to involve your children in your daily tasks
Though these tips may cause your daily to-do list take longer to complete, they really require little preparation and little effort in implementing. You may feel like you are losing valuable time and I hear you. Please hear me: the important skill of being a productive homemaker that your children are learning from you is invaluable.
Brainstorm the ways you can incorporate and encourage your child(ren)’s participation in your daily responsibilities. It can be as simple as gathering around the kitchen table and you narrating what you are doing, whether it is mixing cookie dough or balancing your family’s budget or making the next week’s meal plan and grocery list.
I would love to hear what steps you have taken or plan to take in the next week to create more opportunities for your children to build confidence in doing. Tag me on Instagram @cityfolkhomestead. Can’t wait to hear from you!
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